Self-Care is Self-Preservation

Beautiful african female in her backyard, sitting on a wooden chair, comfortable, having a a glass of red wine. Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa.

If a train is coming straight at you, what would you do? You’d quickly get out of the way, duh.

So why is it that we refuse to jump out of harm’s way when a train-wreck of a relationship or situation is moving full speed into our lives? My gut says it’s because it doesn’t feel natural to take care of our mental health.

Instead of protecting our mental well-being and setting healthy boundaries, this is when we grab our superwoman cape to prepare for whatever will be thrown at us. Why? Because we’ve conditioned ourselves to run towards the drama or pain and not jump out of the way.

And then we make excuses for why we can’t focus on our self-care. Do any of these sound familiar:

“I don’t have time to slow down for self-care.”
“I’m a strong woman of color, I can take on anything just like my ancestors”.
“My job/kids/lover/friends need me more, I should put aside my wants and desire”
Audre Lorde said it best:

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political welfare.”

Y’all, we are at war and it’s not a physical war like World War II!

When you feel physically ill thinking about your job or walking into those doors every day, that’s a battlefield.
That toxic relationship that you’re not ready to let go of is a battlefield. When you don’t set boundaries for your well-being, that’s another battlefield.
Letting fear or other people’s judgment stop you from living the life you desire can be one of the deadliest battlefields.
The great news is that you have a choice. To remain on the battlefield and fight or to take off your superwoman cape and start taking care of you.

Think about all the things that get in the way of your self-care as a train. Would you still stand there waiting to see what happens?

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