Danielle Washington [00:00:06]:
You're listening to the hella well with Danielle Show, a podcast taking women of color on a journey exploring all things wellness and travel related. We're all about showing you how to put on your oxygen mask first and creating lasting self care habits that will free you to travel the world and live the life you truly desire and not one you have to fake loving. I'm your host, Danielle Washington. Now let's buckle up and start this journey.

Danielle Washington [00:00:34]:
Welcome to the hella well with Danielle podcast, your weekly mental vacation from the daily grind for busy women who just need a moment to pause, breathe, and woos. Ah. I'm your host, Danielle Washington. And the talk has been about Jay Z. Jay Z at the Grammys. Everyone's talking about it. Everyone's posting about it. Even Oprah posted about it.

Danielle Washington [00:00:55]:
And whether you love what he said.

Danielle Washington [00:00:57]:
Or hate what he said, the thing that kind of resonated with me in that conversation was that he was talking about showing up. Talking about showing up and forget the Grammys just for a second and show up for yourself and keep showing up until they give you your accolades that you'd feel that you deserve. And I thought about that, and I.

Danielle Washington [00:01:19]:
Was like, as busy people, busy women.

Danielle Washington [00:01:22]:
We'Re used to showing up for other people. We're used to showing up in general. That's our resiliency, especially. I can speak as a black woman.

Danielle Washington [00:01:32]:
I feel like we just.

Danielle Washington [00:01:34]:
And as a culture, we're just used to showing up. That's all. We know how to do the microaggressions that we constantly go through and deal with in our everyday life, every day, we get up, and we just continue to show up. And so we're used to showing up externally, but what we're not doing is showing up for ourselves. We're not showing. We're robbing ourselves. Many of you are robbing yourselves. You're sitting in corners where you don't belong and not showing up for yourself.

Danielle Washington [00:02:06]:
And so today, I really want to talk about, how can we start showing up for ourselves? Because it's not of, oh, when can I show up for myself? Because when you don't show up for yourself, your physical health declines. When you don't show up for yourself, you start feeling burnt out, you start having resentment. You lose your identity. Your mental well being is compromised, and you start continuously putting everyone else before you. You put yourself on that back burner and forget that you exist to the point where mentally, physically, emotionally, things start going wrong. And Ray, to the point where you're like, oh, dang I missed all of that. So I don't want you to get there because the cost of neglect is freaking high. So I'm going to need you to start showing up for you.

Danielle Washington [00:02:53]:
I'm going to need you to start showing up in a way that you've never done. And this can look like focusing on your self worth can look like unplugging, taking moments, just stillness.

Danielle Washington [00:03:05]:
I love just some days telling my.

Danielle Washington [00:03:07]:
Clients, just sit in shavasana, lay on the ground, your hands up, and just take eight minutes just to be still. Don't play any music, don't do anything. Just connect to your breath. That's showing up for you. That's showing up for you to take a moment to stop thinking, stop creating, to do lists, stop feeling like you have to be and do that's showing up for you. Setting boundaries is showing up for you. Staying within your capacity is showing up for you. Cultivating positive self talk, cultivating that inner internal validation, stop looking outwards for that external validation.

Danielle Washington [00:03:48]:
And that's why we show up so often for other people, because we're often showing up so we can get that external validation to say that, oh, you are worthy, you are deserving of whatever you're doing or whatever you're feeling or whatever you're desiring.

Danielle Washington [00:04:02]:
Showing up for you looks like seeking.

Danielle Washington [00:04:04]:
Out support, getting help. You don't got to do it all alone. There is no award for the person who struggled enough to get to the certain point. Showing up for you is delegating. Showing up for you is engaging in hobbies or something that brings you joy. Showing up for you is prioritizing your.

Danielle Washington [00:04:23]:
Mental and physical health. And when I was thinking about this, I was like, yo, how am I not showing up for myself? I keep putting off like, oh, I.

Danielle Washington [00:04:32]:
Need to go to the doctor. I need to go see someone about my eyes.

Danielle Washington [00:04:36]:
And I keep it like, I'm going.

Danielle Washington [00:04:37]:
To do it, I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it.

Danielle Washington [00:04:39]:
And I'm not showing up for myself. So it's like in creating this content, I realize how I'm not showing up.

Danielle Washington [00:04:46]:
For me and how I could do better. I feel like showing up for you also includes reflecting and reassessing recordly, like looking.

Danielle Washington [00:04:55]:
Okay, where am I?

Danielle Washington [00:04:56]:
Where do I want to be?

Danielle Washington [00:04:57]:
Showing up for you also includes celebrating your victories. There's no small ones, but if you want to call something small or big.

Danielle Washington [00:05:04]:
Celebrate all victories, small and big. Celebrate your accomplishments.

Danielle Washington [00:05:08]:
We celebrate other people's, we celebrate the work ones.

Danielle Washington [00:05:12]:
What about celebrating how you are showing up for you. Showing up for you looks like recognizing that you're imperfectly perfect. And I'm going to say that again, showing up for you looks like recognizing that you're imperfectly perfect. Show up for you is practicing gratitude, self compassion, forgiveness. And it's also challenging this ideal or this feeling of guilt associated with taking care of you and putting yourself up first and showing up for yourself. I'm not going to sit here and lie that there's not this guilt that often stops us from showing up for ourselves and taking care of ourselves. Many people, especially those who are caregivers or high achievers, struggle with this feeling of feeling selfish when they take time for themselves. We need to normalize the ideal that self care isn't selfish, but it is necessary to maintaining a livelihood that we desire.

Danielle Washington [00:06:11]:
And in Jay Z's talk, you talked know, showing up until you get your accolades or until they give you your accolades, well, the they in giving you accolades is your ego. It's your traumatized inner child. It's that inner critic that's inside of you. They are your audience. They are the ones who we're being resilient against. We're being resilient against that ego that says, nah, you can't do that. You can't prioritize your physical health. You're like, what about all these responsibilities you have? We're showing up against the one that says the inner critic of the inner self talk that says you're not worthy of setting boundaries.

Danielle Washington [00:06:51]:
You're not worthy of taking time for yourself. There's nothing for you to celebrate. You still have so much more to do. Showing up for them until they give you your accolades is a journey. It's a journey of transformation. It involves you nurturing self, being compassionate, addressing the deep seated and emotional wounds, changing that dialogue that's inside of you.

Danielle Washington [00:07:13]:
That says that I'm not good enough. You're not this. You're not that.

Danielle Washington [00:07:17]:
To one of support and acknowledgment, showing up for you is about moving from a place of self criticism, self neglect and pain to one of empowerment, self love, self prioritization and acknowledgment. Yo, this journey is not one that's going to just heal wounds, but it's going to open up doors to your authentic self.

Danielle Washington [00:07:38]:
So I'm going to need you to.

Danielle Washington [00:07:40]:
Keep showing up for you. As Jay Z said, just keep showing up. You got to keep showing up until they give you your accolades that you feel that you deserve. So I'm gonna ask you to show up until they call you worthy. I'm gonna ask you to show up until they call you deserving of the life you desire. I'm gonna ask you to continue to show up until they call you your authentic self. You feel me? You probably do feel me. But you're probably wondering, like, well, how do I get past the roadblocks? How do I get past the naysayers to continue to show up for myself? You do this by focusing on your self worth.

Danielle Washington [00:08:19]:
Like, you got to build up the self love muscle. You didn't just start riding a bike right away or start driving. You had to practice. So exercise that muscle. And it takes practice, daily practice, weekly.

Danielle Washington [00:08:32]:
Practice, whatever it is.

Danielle Washington [00:08:33]:
But it takes exercising that self love to build it up to get to that self worth. Start asking yourself questions, self inquiry. Like, what emotions are you holding connected to a thought process of showing up for you? Are there any things that are kind of coming up that says, like, why I don't like to show up for myself? Why I don't celebrate myself, why I don't prioritize my mental health, why I don't take time just to be still? Start asking yourself why? And then when you hear another answer, ask yourself why? And keep going deeper and deeper into that conversation. You also need to create an emotional connection to showing up for yourself. Create an emotional connection to the outcome of what it would look like physically feel. What would it look like of you showing up for yourself? How would it feel like to show up for yourself? I talked about what it looks like, but how does it feel to recognize that I'm imperfectly imperfect? Sorry. How does it feel to recognize that I'm imperfectly perfect? How does it feel like to set boundaries? What does it feel like to be self worthy? To feel worthy of everything that you desire, to be worthy of abundance. What does it feel like? Connect to that emotion.

Danielle Washington [00:10:01]:
Keep practicing and utilizing that resilience that you reserve for the outside world. Because I know you got this. You got this. You have the ability to show up for you. You have the ability to be called that authentic self. You have the ability to be worthy of everything you desire, not because you.

Danielle Washington [00:10:26]:
Did anything, not because you are something.

Danielle Washington [00:10:29]:
But just because you exist. Thank you for joining me this week, and I'll talk to you next week.

Danielle Washington [00:10:35]:
Are you black and considering starting a yoga practice? Or do you already love yoga but feel uncomfortable and out of place? Well, come hang out with us on black on the mat. It's a safe place for sharing our stories and showing the benefits of having a yoga practice in your life. Come join your hosts, Danielle and Sasha, as they create an accessible roadmap into yoga for black people. Building a community in this predominantly white space and letting folks already into yoga.

Danielle Washington [00:11:01]:
Know that we're here.

Danielle Washington [00:11:02]:
Subscribe to Black on the mat on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube and come find the show on all major podcasting platforms at Black on the mat.

Danielle Washington [00:11:18]:
Thanks for joining us this week on the hello well with Danielle show. Make sure to visit our website, hellowithdanielle.com, where you can subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify and Amazon Music and never miss an episode. Also, you can follow us on social media at helloellwithdanielle on Facebook and Instagram and helloell with Danny on Twitter. And if you like hella, hella, hella loved the show and got some good.

Danielle Washington [00:11:42]:
Nuggets out of it.

Danielle Washington [00:11:43]:
Know that I'm not too proud to ask for you to please leave a rating or review on iTunes so that we can continue to expand our reach and help other women of color. Again, thanks so much for listening and I hope to see you next week. Ciao.