Danielle Washington [00:00:06]:
You're listening to the hella well with Danielle Show, a podcast taking women of color on a journey exploring all things wellness and travel related. We're all about showing you how to put on your oxygen mask first and creating lasting self care habits that will free you to travel the world and live the life you truly desire and not one you have to fake loving. I'm your host, Danielle Washington. Now let's buckle up and start this journey.

Danielle Washington [00:00:33]:
Welcome to the hello well with Danielle podcast, your weekly mentaliation from the daily grind for busy women who just need a moment to pause, breathe in. I'm your host, Danielle Washington. And we've made it. We made it through Valentine's day. I don't know about you, but I normally am good. But this year, I felt really down and sad about Valentine's day. It just felt like it was such a reminder that you are alone, that I am not dating anyone, I'm not remotely in a relationship whatsoever. And it just felt like everywhere I looked, everyone was talking about, happy Valentine's day.

Danielle Washington [00:01:21]:
I'm with my partner. I'm doing these different things. And on the flip side, it was all about, I'm all about self love. I'm all about loving me. And I couldn't connect to either or not in the sense that I was jealous. And I don't even know. I need to wrap my head around that. I felt like I was lacking, not having relationships.

Danielle Washington [00:01:49]:
So, yeah, there were some feelings of sadness and some feelings of, dang, when is it my turn to jump into a relationship? And on the flip side of that, I love myself. And I know that I love myself because I know what it felt like not to love myself. I know what it felt like when I was in self loathing, when I was being sabotaging myself. I was a victim. So I know that I love myself, but knowing that I love myself acting on that love doesn't mean I still don't want another relationship with another person. So it was like even seeing all these posts about you got to love yourself first, was not hitting me. It wasn't resonating with me. It made me feel even more sad because, like, yeah, I have that, but that's not enough.

Danielle Washington [00:02:45]:
And I'm okay to say that I love myself and I want more. It doesn't have to be I love myself or someone else, but there could be a space where I can love myself and I want more. And then I saw this newsletter, and it was talking about, let your tender self be loved. And I was like, oh, okay, what's this about? And it was talking about how sometimes we feel that we must achieve a certain level of healing before we can allow ourselves to connect with another person. I was like, shots, fire. This resonates with me. This resonates with me in the sense that I think part of me has felt like I've had to get to a certain space before I could allow someone to be in my life. Because I recognize, looking backwards, there's no way in heck I could have been with someone and know that it could have been a lasting relationship because I wasn't in that space.

Danielle Washington [00:03:49]:
I was in a space that I was going to sabotage this. I was going to give myself all to someone because I didn't know how to be me, because I didn't know who me was. I honor and recognize that I needed that time not to be in a relationship so I can get to this healed point of being Danielle, whatever point that is. Danielle, 2024. And I'm happy where I am. I'm in a great space, but I want more. I want more. But I also don't feel like.

Danielle Washington [00:04:29]:
I feel like I have healed enough to be in a relationship. But there's also that side of me that still worries, like, if I get in a relationship, am I going to lose myself? Is it going to distract me from the progress I've made? Is it going to distract me from the path? Is it going to get me off the path that I'm on? The path that I'm on right now has been the clearest I've ever been. It's like it has these neon lights that's leading me to my purpose, and I feel secure and grounded in where I am. And so I do feel that there's a part of me as I look on Valentine's day and I think about love, is there a part of me that's blocking or holding or putting this armor of. I'm trying to protect myself from getting hurt, and I'm trying to protect myself from losing my way. And that's why I'm not allowing myself to even think about being a relationship. And yeah, I may be protecting myself, but when you start protecting yourself and wearing this armor, you're also protecting yourself from loving. You're protecting yourself from feeling and being in these moments and learning from it.

Danielle Washington [00:05:49]:
The article I was talking about was talking about, we do this because we want to hide who we are. I'm not trying to hide anyone who I am. And when I am, I don't feel there's parts of me that's unacceptable for relationship. What I am doing is hiding myself because I fear that I would lose myself. But this Valentine's day, which again, I don't normally get wrapped up in the Valentine's day hallmark woundness. I mean, I love, love, love some hallmark movies around this time of the year and around Christmas as well, but I don't typically get emotionally caught up and triggered. But this year I felt triggered. So if you are someone like me, for various different reasons, felt alone, felt triggered of feeling like why I'm here by myself or maybe you lost a loved one.

Danielle Washington [00:06:55]:
And so having Valentine's Day just as a reminder of that recent loss of a passing, of maybe a separation of a relationship or a physical separation of a situation, I wanted to take a moment where we could just collectively give love to each other. And so if you have the time and space, I invite you just to sit with me for a moment of just connecting through our breath and meditation. So I invite you to settle in, get comfortable if you can, gently close your eyes. And we're going to connect to our breath, doing some long, deep breathing, inhaling through your nose, feeling your belly expand, and exhaling through your nose, feeling your belly fall towards your spine, really noticing your breath as it's going in and out, seeing how it feels as it moves through your body. And I want you to begin to open up to broad awareness. Noticing what are you most aware of in this moment? Acknowledging all the ways that you're experiencing it. Maybe it's a sound, an emotion, a sensation, and simply be a witness. There's nothing you need to do, nothing you need to fix.

Danielle Washington [00:08:34]:
Just be aware, recognizing, welcoming and witnessing what comes up. And let's agree from this moment that nothing is good or bad, or right or wrong. We're just going to be open to being a witness and being present to awareness. Invite you now to put your hand on your heart and feeling that space. Begin breathing in and out through your heart space and noticing how that feels without any attachment to it. Just simply notice the sensations and emotions that come up. And with each inhale, feel this beautiful emerald green light coming in and out of your heart. And as you exhale, I invite you to exhale as if you feel like you are collectively beaming a beautiful green emerald light to another person who just needs a little moment of love.

Danielle Washington [00:09:50]:
And as you inhale, you're receiving that love that someone else is giving to you. Allowing this to be in a collective space where we give and receive love to those in need and those to need a moment of just to feel that I matter. I'm seen. I am love and I am loved. To know that you are love and you are loved is a special place, especially this time of the year. Taking in a few more breaths in, breathing in that energy of love, of compassion and grace and exhaling, sending it out to someone else. And this is how we heal. This is how we love.

Danielle Washington [00:10:46]:
Letting yourself be taken care of, but also knowing that you are deserving to be loved and experience love. I am deserving to experience love and to be loved. And I feel better, like, just doing this practice right now. I feel better just breathing in and knowing that I, too am receiving the love that you guys are sending out and that I'm giving love. I know I'm ready to give love on a deeper level. I know I'm ready to be loved on a deeper level. I know I need to get out of my own way. I know I am the block that is blocking my abundance in love.

Danielle Washington [00:11:42]:
And a lot of it is just a fear of losing myself. And so I have to ask myself, well, what will happen if I lost myself? What if it happened? If I got in a relationship and I got slightly off my path? Can I not get back on my path? What if I got in a relationship and I got distracted and was all about that person, or it was the wrong person? Can I not get out of that relationship and I have to ask myself these questions? I'm like, yeah, I can. So I ask myself a lot of what if questions. When I start feeling like maybe I'm thinking irrationally or I'm trying to control so much that I'm not allowing myself to be open. And when I ask myself these questions, I realize I'm like, yo, you have everything that you need inside to open yourself up to love. You have everything you need. There's nothing you need to achieve further to connect with another person. Everything is going to be what it's supposed to be.

Danielle Washington [00:13:00]:
And if my next relationship isn't the relationship, I take it as a lesson. I take it as a lesson to help me get to a better space to enhance my ability to be in the best relationship I possibly could be in. So I say all this to say, yeah, yesterday had me down. Yesterday had me feeling like maybe it's time. Know, head toward the ice cream section of whole foods and get myself a glass of wine. Did none of those things. But today I'm in a space where I'm like, no, let's examine why I was in that space and kind of shift through some stuff which has me in the space where I'm like, yeah, okay, I'm ready for love. I'm in a beautiful space for love.

Danielle Washington [00:14:05]:
And no matter if challenges come up, I'm still in a beautiful space to where I know I can get through it and remain grounded in who I am. So that's where I am today. I'm hoping this helps someone who may be going through something similar. I'd love to hear from you guys about how was this Valentine's Day time for you and how are you navigating the situations of just love in general? Let me know. I will talk to you guys next week. Until then, ciao.

Danielle Washington [00:14:49]:
Thanks for joining us this week on the hello well with Danielle show. Make sure to visit our website, helloellwithdanielle.com, where you can subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify and Amazon Music and never miss an episode. Also, you can follow us on social media at helloell with Danielle on Facebook and Instagram and hella hella with Danny on Twitter. And if you like hella hella hella loved the show and got some good.

Danielle Washington [00:15:12]:
Nuggets out of it.

Danielle Washington [00:15:13]:
Know that I'm not too proud to ask for you to please leave a rating or review on iTunes so that we can continue to expand our reach and help other women of color. Again, thanks so much for listening and I hope to see you next week. Ciao.